Miles From Where You Are (But Somehow You're Still Standing Beside Me)
by Brokenvowandhauntedmemories
Summary: Summary: There is love in holding and there is love in letting go. Sometimes two people need to fall apart to realize how much they need to fall back together."
1. Chapter 1

**Miles From Where You Are (But Somehow You're Still Standing Beside Me)**

 **Summary:** **There is love in holding and there is love in letting go. Sometimes two people need to fall apart to realize how much they need to fall back together."**

 **Chapter one: I'll Say Goodbye For The Two Of Us**

 _"There ain't no way you can hold onto something that wants to go, you understand? You can only love what you got while you got it."  
― Kate DiCamillo, Because of Winn-Dixie_

* * *

 **(10/15/13)**

She's leaving.

It's all he can think as he watches Bella put the last of her things. Most of it was stuff they had accumulated over the years together; the T-shirt he gave her when they went to see Linkin' Park in concert, a blue cactus with weird fuzzy leaves that he'd given her when she was homesick, porcelain statues of various animals that they'd hunted down in thrift stores, books that they read together, the blue dress he brought her for their anniversary last year, that little beauty and the beast figures he'd brought as a joke when they went to Disney world, pictures of them at the movies, in the car, in his garage, in their apartment, road trips, sky diving, cliff diving, surfing, so many moments, and she was trying to take them with her.

A part of him wanted to burn them, because obviously those memories weren't worth anything after eight years, but he couldn't do that. So he helped her pack them neatly into boxes and sealed them shut.

She's really leaving.

"I almost forgot about this…" She mutters brushing her fingers against the dream catcher he'd given her for her birthday nine years ago. "Remember the day you gave this to me?"

He nodded, a soft smile coming to his face as he remembered the happy look on her face when he showed up at her school, "Yeah,"

Bella smiled too, holding it to her chest. "Got me through a lot of bad night…"

"I know," he said, chuckling, "You were always so melodramatic back then. What was up with all that screaming?"

"I'm surprised Charlie didn't stuff a sock in my mouth,"

"I'm sure he thought about it,"

They both laughed, and it felt good, like they were teenagers again.

"Things were so much simpler then," Bella muttered, and Jacob's smile fades.

They're not teenagers anymore though and there's a moving van outside waiting.

"I guess you'd better be going," Jacob said, turning away from her.

Bella's smile faded to.

"Jacob, listen, I…" she paused, "I'm not doing this to hurt you. I just…"

"It's okay, Bells," he cut in, "This is what you wanted, isn't it?"

"It's _not_ ," she said. "It's not what I wanted. I wanted . . ." Bella looked at the promise ring on her finger, a promise that he would never leave her, hurt her, or stop loving her.

A promise he kept.

The air got tense, and Bella looked at the ground.

"What do you want me to say?" Bella asked, and she looked tired. "I am not- I _tried_. I did but it wasn't enough. You were happy, I was happy. I don't know why I…"

Memories ran through his head, things she said; _"I need you."_ **"I love you,"** **_"Until my heart stops beating"_**. He picks up the box for her and starts carrying it to the door.

"Jacob?" she called quietly, and he turned to look back at her..

"Yeah, Bella?"

"I do love you," She said, and Jacob smiled sadly.

"I love you, too. But sometimes love isn't enough, huh?"

Bella said nothing, and Jacob put the last of her things into the truck.

Jacob watched the van until the taillights faded into black.

Then he goes into thei- _his_ apartment, shuts off the lights in the living room and headed to thei- _his_ room. He couldn't bring himself to do anything else.

He laid down on the bed and buried his face in his pillow; it still smelled like Bella's Jasmine shampoo.

He closed his eyes, and let the world fade away.

* * *

 **Author's note: My First Twilight story! This is an All human AU. It's not about Bella leaving Jacob for Edward. Don't expect him to suddenly pop up in the story (except in flash backs)**

 **Bella is 26 and Jacob is 23**

 **Please Review and Let me know what you think. Please?**


	2. Chapter 2

**Miles From Where You Are (But You're Still Standing Behind Me)**

 **Summary: There is love in holding on and there is love in letting go. Sometimes two people need to fall apart to realize how much they need to fall back together**

 **Chapter Two: I'll Look After You**

 _"The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for."_

― Bob Marley

* * *

 **(01/17/06)**

"Bella, are you _drunk_?" Charlie asked, when they stumbled into the house, Jacob's arm around her to keep her from falling.

"You can yell at us in the morning," Jacob said, surprisingly sober, "I'm just going to take her upstairs, Charlie. Don't you worry bout a thing."

"Why would he yell at us?" Bella slurred even as Jacob dragged her toward the stairs. "He's the one who said that he wanted me to get out of the house and do something other than mope,"

"You're grounded," Charlie stated and Bella giggled.

"Am I grounded because I drank or is it because I snuck into a bar?" she asked, and Jacob winced.

"You snuck into a bar!" Charlie shouted, and Jacob laughs nervously.

"Bella, shut up—"

Bella pushed Jacob away and turned toward Charlie.

"I don't care if you ground me. Because I had fun. I…I haven't even thought of…Edward… in like four hours! Like how he left me…in the woods…crying…because I…because he thought I…" Bella paused as her throat thickened, and her eyes teared up, "I wasn't good enough for him and I just feel like _shit_ , and—" She sniffed, wiping her nose with the back of her hand, and Jacob wrapped his arm around her shoulder.

"Come on, Bells," he said, softly.

They made it upstairs, to Bella's bedroom, but Jacob lead her to the bathroom instead.

Bella looked a mess, her hair was tangled, there was a drink stain on her shirt, and her tears had made her mascara run down her cheeks.

"Do you have to pee?" Bella asked, giggling, and Jacob shook his head.

"No, we're in here for when you throw up." Jacob said, casually, sitting on the edge of the tub.

"I shouldn't have drunk so much," Bella muttered, sinking to the floor, bringing her knees to her chest, and wrapping her arms around them. "I just feel like I'm falling apart," she admitted, thickly.

"Look, Edward's an asshole, okay," Jacob said, giving her a smile, "I'd kick his ass for you if he hadn't left town,"

"No, he's—" She swallowed a sob. "He was perfect. I…I always knew he was too good for me. I knew one day he'd get sick of me. I just…I wasn't…" Bella choked out as she took a shuddering breath and more tears fell.

Jacob grabbed the roll of tissue and moved to sit on the floor beside her. He handed her some tissue, to wipe her face, and Bella took it and wiped, then loudly blew her nose.

"Thank you," she mumbled, tossing the tissue into toilet.

"No problem," Jacob smiled. "Break ups suck."

"Really suck," Bella agrees, laying her head on his shoulder.

"Edward was a dick and that was a shitty move to leave you in the woods like that," Jacob stated.

"Thanks for finding me," Bella muttered, then groaned, "Why does it still hurt so much?"

"He was your first boyfriend, of course you're hurt, but you deserve better."

"But what if your wrong? What If—"Bella swallowed, thickly, "What if he was the best I could do?"

"He's not." Jacob said, firmly and Bella started crying again, "No more alcohol for you,"

"Everything sucks." Bella groaned, trying to get up, but the sudden movement made her stomach lurch and she barely made it to the toilet before she was throwing up.

"I knew this would happen," Jacob sighed, getting up and holding back her hair

"I'm never drinking again," Bella groaned, lifting her head a little, "Never,"

"That's good," Jacob rubbed her back, "I'd hate for this to become a habit,"

Bella vomited twice more and then Jacob helped her stand so she could brush her teeth before he took her to bed.

"Thank you, Jacob," Bella said, quietly, laying in the center of her bed with her eyes closed.

"You should change clothes," Jacob suggested.

"I'm too tired,"

"There's vomit on your color,"

"Ugh!"

Jacob found her gown and tossed it at her.

Bella lifted up, and tried to change, but she couldn't get her shirt unbuttoned.

"Help," she begged, and Jacob rolled his eyes.

"Sure, sure,"

After Jacob helped Bella change, she stared at him with those big brown doe eyes.

"Jake?"

"Yeah?"

"Have you ever been dumped?"

"Yup,"

"Did you feel this terrible?" She asked, and Jacob shrugged.

"I was a little torn up, but I got over it. We're pretty good friends now," Jacob grinned.

"You can be friends with your EX?" Bella asked, surprised.

"Well, she wasn't really my girlfriend. It was more of a one-sided crush." He said, "She flirted with me and I thought it was going to go somewhere but she started dating this jerk instead,"

"She sounds like a bitch," Bella muttered, rolling over and making space so he could squeeze into bed next to her.

"Nah, she's pretty cool. I think you'd like her," Jacob joked, wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her so her head was resting on his chest.

"Goodnight, Jake," Bella murmured, putting her cold feet between his legs for warmth.

"Night, Bells,"

* * *

 **Author's note: This is the past. I'll make sure to put the dates at the beginning of each chapter so you can see how far away we are from the first chapter.**

 **Jacob comforting Bella through her break up and her actually dealing with her emotions instead of being a zombie, always good in my book.**

 **Next chapter will be Bella and or Jacob dealing with their lives without each other.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Miles From Where You Are (But Somehow You're Still Standing Beside Me)**

 **Summary:** **There is love in holding and there is love in letting go. Sometimes two people need to fall apart to realize how much they need to fall back together."**

 **Chapter Three: I'm Here to Remind You of the Mess You Left When You Went Away**

 _"Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell."_  
― **Edna St. Vincent Millay**

* * *

 **(12/27/13)**

It's been hard being in his apartment without Bella.

He knows that it's only been two months but it feels like the pain will never go away. He's tired of looking at the empty side of the bed where Bella's supposed to be, where they used to fall asleep curled together, Bella using him to warm her cold feet, while he fell asleep to the sound of her breathing. He's tired of looking at the things that Bella left scattered around his apartment, her toothbrush in the cup, her reading glasses in the drawer, a few of her books, two of her stupid sappy movies, and one of her shirts in the hamper.

It takes everything he has not to bring it to his face and breath her scent.

He misses her.

He misses watching crappy reality shows on the couch together. He misses her cooking. He misses her laugh. He misses the way she used to roll her eyes at him.

He misses his Bells.

He can't even use his car to distract him because there are too many memories of Bella passing him tools and sitting beside him while he worked. Too many kisses and too many moment of passion staining the seats of his car…not literally of course. He takes really good care of his baby and always makes sure she's clean.

He goes to college. He can't afford to miss school just because he's dealing with a break up.

He and Bella used to have lunch together in between classes. They alternated on who would make the sandwiches or if they would spend money to go eat in the school café.

He's tired. God, he's so tired.

He eats each meal, three times a day though, even though the sight of food makes his stomach turn. He doesn't pull away from his friends, though he wants to. He's tired of all those pitying looks, the constant phone calls from people who are "just checking" on him, like he's a baby. He's a grown man. He can take care of himself. At least he didn't have to spend the holidays alone.

He separates the mail, putting Bella's mail to the side, so he can pass it to Angela when he sees her. He wishes she would let people know not to send her mail to his apartment anymore. It just reminds him that she's gone.

Jacob locks the door to his apartment and heads to work. He does his job, sneaks and tells people about other shops they can go to for a better deal, then instead of going home he heads to the gym.

He has a locker at the gym with workout clothes in it. He runs on the treadmill, lifts weights, does some sit ups, and then beats on the punching bag until the owner throws him out. Then he leans against the side of the building, exhausted, but still not wanting to go home.

Finally, he goes the one place he knows he can go where he won't get sympathetic looks for being too sad to lay in his empty apartment.

Leah opens the door, after he knocks, and she crosses her arms. She leans in the doorjamb and studies him for a minute.

"You look like crap," she greets, and Jacob rolled his eyes.

Jacob knows he looks like crap. He hasn't had a good night's sleep since Bella left and he hasn't exactly been putting that much effort into looking good.

Leah's wearing a black dress, with red bobble earrings, a black choker necklace, and black shoes with high red heels.

"Hello to you too," he says, and Leah smirked.

"Get in here idiot," she moves aside and Jacob enters her apartment.

Leah goes and gets a bottle of whisky from the cabinet.

"Am I interrupting something?" Jacob asks and Leah nods.

"Yeah, I was going dancing with this guy I met at the work," Leah said, handing him a glass.

"I can go," Jacob starts to get up, downing his glass, as he stands.

"Sit your ass down," Leah orders, and Jacob sits, "I'm still going on my date. But I can spend some time with you before I go,"

"I'm not here to mope," Jacob mutters, "I just can't get to sleep in that apartment. Can I crash on your couch?"

"You can take the guest room," Leah says, with a shrug, "But I have a three-day limit then I'm kicking your ass out,"

"Thanks," Jacob holds his glass out for more whisky and Leah hands him the whole bottle.

"Here," she says, "Drink, watch some television, order some take out, and get some sleep idiot,"

Jacob pulls the lid off and takes a long pull from the bottle.

"I think she left because I was boring," Jacob blurts, and Leah tilts her head to show she's listening, "I used to be more fun. I was adventurous and reckless. Now, I'm in college and I have a part time job at the rip-off Auto shop."

"You grew up," Leah states, turning away from him and putting her things in her little black purse, "Everyone's gotta grow up sometime,"

"Yeah," Jacob says, putting the whisky down, "You can put this back,"

"You done drinking?" Leah asks, and Jacob nods.

"Bella used to play a song that started like this and then it ended with the dude buried beneath a willow tree while the angels sang a whiskey lullaby," Jacob laughs, then frowns.

Bella wouldn't be playing anything around their place anymore.

"No moping until I leave," Leah growls, and Jacob snaps out of it.

"I'm not moping," he growls back, and anger feels better than that endless pit of grief that keeps building in the pit of his stomach.

"It looks like you're moping," Leah says, and Jacob glares at her.

"No, I'm just thinking,"

"Brooding," Leah mutters, and Jacob snickers.

"Go one your date, Leah," he says, "and try not to be a bitch,"

"No promises," Leah smirks, tossing him the remote and a takeout menu, "And cheer up. That girl won't make more than a month without you,"

"I don't want her to come back because she couldn't make it on her own," Jacob says, "I want her to be happy…even if that's not with me,"

"Very mature," Leah says, "I'll be back tomorrow,"

She winks and closes the door behind her.

Jacob cringes at the thought of Leah having sex. Not that she wasn't attractive, but she was like his sister and the thought of his sister having sex…. ugh.

He got a coke from the fridge, called the Chinese food place, and watches _500 Days of Summer._ He laughs at the part where Summer and Tom are in the furniture store remembering him and Bella doing something similar when they shopped for furniture for their apartment. He reaches the part where Tom finds out that Summer is getting married, then he throws one of the pillows at the screen.

"That's bullshit," he mutters, but he watches the movie until the end.

He doesn't know if he and Bella are like Tom and Summer. But he knows that he did the best he could with what he had.

That's all you can ever do in a relationship.

He turns off the television, puts the leftovers in the fridge for Leah and then slinks off to bed. He lays there and thinks of Bella, wonders what she's doing, and allows the loneliness to sink in. He doesn't think he and Bella have ever gone this long without talking to each other.

It hurts.

He thinks he was a good boyfriend. He thinks that he had done right by her. He tried. It just wasn't enough.

He feels like he wants to cry but he knows that he won't. He hasn't cried since he was a teenager. Then again, he hasn't had anything that made him feel like this.

 _Break ups suck._

* * *

 **Author's note: Jacob dealing. He's not handling things very well but he's also not staying inside his apartment moping over his failed relationship...he's doing that in Leah's apartment.**

 **But everyone's entitled to mope a little especially if you with someone for years.**

 **Please Review people.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Miles From Where You Are (But You're Still Standing Behind Me)**

 **Summary: There is love in holding on and there is love in letting go. Sometimes two people need to fall apart to realize how much they need to fall back together**

 **Chapter Four: You Say It Best When You Say Nothing At All**

 _"_ _On this Valentine's Day I like to whisper in your ear the silent songs of my heart."  
― Debasish Mridha_

* * *

 **(2/14/06)**

" _AHHH!"_

A sickening _squish_ , followed by screaming and grass crunching beneath her feet.

Bella grinned viciously as Jason chased the blonde girl through the woods after killing her boyfriend.

"Happy Valentine's day," she said, aloud, popping another conversation heart candy into her mouth.

 _Kiss Me._ **Crunch**

 _Hug Me._ **Crunch, Crunch**

 _Be Mine._ **_Crunch, Crunch, Crunch_**

Rolling her eyes, at the screen, Bella tossed the candy at the screen. She hated Valentine's day. It was a stupid holiday made just to remind women that they were alone.

Even Charlie, the eternal bachelor, had a date with the waitress from the diner. And what was Bella doing? Sitting on her couch at 8:00pm all by herself in her pajamas.

The blonde in the movie ran through a heavily wooded area; then tripped and fell, like an idiot.

Bella smirked, as Jason caught up with her.

Bella grabbed a Twinkie and shoved it into her mouth, chewing with her mouth open because there was no one there to see it.

The doorbell rang.

Bella groaned, swallowing her Twinkie and getting to her feet.

The doorbell rang again.

"Hold your horses!" she growled.

The doorbell rang again.

"Impatient assholes," Bella muttered, before swinging the door open, "What?"

Jacob stood there, wearing a suit, and holding a bouquet of roses.

He smiled and—

Bella slammed the door in his face, going back to watch her movie.

The doorbell rang again.

Bella ignored it.

It rang again.

And again.

And again.

"Oh, for god's sake! It's open!" Bella shouted, and the door opened.

Jacob walked in, brushing off his suit, setting a duffle bag by the door, and making his way to sit beside her on the couch. Bella wordlessly held out the other Twinkie. Jacob took it, shoving it in his mouth, then he offered her the bouquet.

Bella glared at him.

"Quit it," she said, and Jacob rolled his eyes, reaching in his pocket, pulling out a little bag of gummy bears, "Thanks,"

Bella ate the gummy bear, staring at Jacob, who still hadn't said a word.

"Are you okay?" Bella finally asked, after 15minutes had passed of Jacob not saying anything.

Jacob shrugged, and held out the roses.

Bella sighed, taking them from him, and se noticed the card.

"Rose are red and Violet's are blue. I know you hate this holiday so I will too. Take these roses and do what you will. But I'll be your friend long after the last rose wilts." Bella read, then she smiled, "Thank you, Jacob,"

Jacob grinned.

"You know, you can talk, right?" Bella said, and Jacob shrugged again.

He got up and grabbed the bag, he'd left by the door. He unzipped it and Bella peered inside. Twinkies, frosted animal crackers, gummy bears, a pack of Anti-Valentine's day conversation hearts, Romy and Michele's High School Reunion on DVD, Anti-Valentine's Day Sugar Cookies, a cupid piñata that looked horrified, and a bunch of cheesy horror films.

"You're the best!" Bella exclaimed, hugging him tightly.

Jacob smiled, and hugged her back, wrapping his arms around her waist.

"Why aren't you talking?" Bella asked, pulling away and Jacob blew out a frustrated breath.

He went in the kitchen and came back with a pen and a piece of paper.

 _Quil and I made a bet. I had to ask out the most popular girl in school If she said yes, the Quil would pay for a part for the rabbit. If she said no, then I had to walk around town in a suit, following women around, carrying a bouquet of roses, without saying anything until midnight._

Bella laughed at him.

"So, you came here?" Bella asked, and Jacob smirked.

 _You were the only women I wanted to follow around with roses on Valentine's day._

Bella blushed, passing the paper back to Jacob.

"Well, you look really…um…," Bella looked down, and Jacob ducked his head so their eyes met, raising an eyebrow expectantly, "...You're sort of beautiful,"

Jacob's cheeked turned red and he wrote something on the paper.

 _Did you hit your head?_

Bella punched him in the arm.

"See if I ever say anything nice to you again?" she complained, going to the couch.

Jacob got a thoughtful look on his face then hurried to scribble something down.

He held the paper out to Bella and she eyed it suspiciously.

She took and read it, then her face broke out in a beaming smile.

"I love you!" she exclaimed, kissing his cheek before running upstairs, "Just give me a minute to get dressed!"

Jacob watched her go and leaned against the wall with a smirk, reading what he wrote on the slip of paper.

 _Want to go egg couples at that new restaurant in town?_

Bella was a complicated girl.

* * *

 **Author's note: Let me know what you think about this chapter.**

 **Next will be grown up Bella dealing with the end of her relationship with Jacob.**


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